Here are some of the hilariously sarcastic comments posted in response to today's Vancouver Sun article on the arrests at the first day of the 2010 Olympics.

I hope they make you laugh as much as I did!

"I saw the protesters burn Celine Dion in effigy. It was very sad, it made a nearby group of children cry."

"My wife and I were on Georgia when we witnessed one burly protester proroguing parliament."

"Several of the protesters were seen buying alcohol for minors."

"I saw a group of protesters drinking Pepsi EVEN THOUGH Coke is the official sponsor!"

"I heard one of the protesters had baclava all over her face. What kind of a coward would hide behind baclava?"

"Let's hope that giant fake-ice coca-cola bear doesn't get loose and start smashing up stuff. I heard he's the one that screwed up the hydraulics on the flame-evator."

"One of the protesters had the Lindbergh baby in his duffel bag."

"I saw a protester selling pirated DVD's. When will the injustice end?"

hi im looking for a mask wearing hotty i saw on tv if you want we could get something to eat and maybe a movie after we could go protest if you wanted too:)

"I saw a group of protesters trying to coerce innocent bystanders in to signing up to a pyramid scheme. "It's just a small investment up front. You'll make twice as much back as you put in," they kept insisting. It was disgusting!"

"I saw a protester eating a live baby on Georgia Street. He hit a cop with its leg bone."

"I saw one cowardly protestor walk right up to a line of police carrying batons, guns, tasers, pepper spray, teargas, and riot shields. Coward."

"I saw two of these masked goons huddled in a dark corner shooting heroin, right before the protest. I could see the drugs kicking in because their faces writhed with fierce agony and they went into a maniac rage. One of them cut off his own finger and ate it, then started throwing fire hydrants and motorcycles at the police."

"One of the protestors flicked his black cloak, his eyes glowed bright blue, then he turned into a bat and fluttered away. An HIV-infected vampire bat. That's what the protestors are."

"I saw a group of protestors skin a freshly killed poodle, then consume the raw flesh, as their eyes blazed with an unholy fire."

"There was a group of protestors standing in a circle around a lost little boy, mocking and screaming "Where's your dad now? Huh, little boy? Huh? You lost? Lost little loser all by himself?"  The boy was crying and begging, but they wouldn't stop taunting him. Animals.  Then the police came by and they scattered like the cowards they are, but could be heard screeching like chimpanzees and I saw one of them pause to throw some feces over his shoulder as he fled."

"In a brief moment of chaos I saw one of the masked protestors pull off his mask, but he must have pulled too hard because when he pulled the mask off his skin also came off and revealed a reptile underneath. He looked around in a panic, pressed a button on his lapel, and disappeared in a shimmer of light."

"Two demonstrators in clean black suits came up to me and asked me if I'd like to schedule a visit where they would come by and teach me more about god."

"Good thing we got those CF-18s on air patrol, and the military helicopters, in case someone else decides to break a window."

"I saw a group of protestors with Kim Jong Il T-shirts handing out pamphlets for the arirang mass gymnastics. I say take your scum back, North Korea. We don't want them here."

"I heard the protestors are annoyed by monopoly. I don't get it; I love that game. Hotel on park place, baby."

"One protestor looked at the police with suspicion. In that moment I knew he was no good."

"We need to reprimand these animals with a firm presence; a rock hard resolve. A massive throbbing force of unstoppable pressure. Thinking about it makes me feel strong."

"i was by the bay today to buy some olympic shirts and demonstrate my patriotism, and noticed every protestor picked up a rock and threw it at exactly the same time it was creepy i think they might be controlled by an alien hive of telepaths"

"I saw a protestor smoke a cigarette."

"My brother is a cop and he was at one of these protests and he told me that a couple of protestors smoked marijuana and laughed a bit."

"im a homeless person and i do agree i should be killed and murdered for being homeless and its twice as bad because im mentally ill.So please kill me in the name of the games ill donate my brain to science"

"I saw a protestor pulling out his own teeth with a pair of pliers while laughing maniacally and handing out illegal pornography involving unicorns."

"One of the protestors was handing out kilogram bags of cocaine and had twelve needles sticking out of his head."

"I saw a protestor dining on the hindlimbs of a newborn baby."

"One protestor had a beard, and you know what people with beards are all about. Right. Osama 'beardo' bin-laden."

"I saw a protestor with a headband with arabic on it, and when I went home and googled the arabic word it turned out it was "HAMAS". Make your own conclusions people. Protestors, or the fifth column for the arabic menace! You decide."

"I'm a seven year old girl, and one of these greaseball protestors threw a brick at my mommy. Now they tell me I have to go to the orphanage. What's an orphanage?"

"i'm a stupid ignorant pot smoking pinko, and i protested. unfortunately i was too much of a coward to wear a mask, or break any windows. sorry real protesters, i was a totally passyfist.."

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